Journal 7 and my Brain Drain

I know how crazy people feel. Head all tight, hearing crazy voices, not being able to focus because your emotional temperature is off the charts. Things, people, and some peoples actions can drive me to feel all of this at once. When this happens only one thing can help me get back to center (or as this class calls it, back "On Course") That is a brain drain. Get that crazy stuff out of your head; it is like popping a huge zit and getting all that grossness out and BAM, you're back On Course, you're centered.

I can get back to center by spending quality time with a friend and having a deep quality conversation (and maybe a glass of Merlot, or three), I can do it sometimes by meditation (but meditation for me is hard, I guess that is why they call it a discipline) or I can do it by writing. I would say being with a friend is my favorite but I benefit the most from writing.

So what I have got to get out of my head, like a poison, is something I saw on MSNBC when I got home today. The Honorable Mayor Dean Grose of Los Alamitos, California recently sent out from his personal email account the photo above with the a heading saying "No Easter egg hunt at the White House this year". Yes, you read right, a mayor. In case you were wondering, yes, he is Republican. Have you noticed how bitter they are these days?

The White House front lawn covered in watermelons was sent from Mr. Mayors personal email address to a circle of people who he thought might enjoy this kind of humor, however, one of the recipients was Keyanus Price. Ms. Price is an African American woman who sits on the board of the Youth Center, and she often works with city officials in the community representing her employer. Needless to say she, deeply offended, shared this with the local paper and it is now a national headline. If you feel knowledge is power click here to read the story from the local paper in Los Alamitos. I don't care to go on about the details of the story because no matter what is said or written about this event, Mayor Grose is a sad stupid man and is wrong.

In addition to writing, I also feel taking action is healthy and empowering. I am a cleaver little beaver, and it took me less than 4 minutes to find the email address of the mayor and his council members. I am writing an email to the Mayor, and his entire city council (four people). I am writing as a "political corespondent" from my own news blog and video cast called THIS WEEKS RECAP and asking a few very pointed questions. I am sure none of the will reply, even though my email asking questions is polite, fact based and unbiased. I am asking that even if they have "no comment" to please respond as such.

Lord help them if I so much as get a sentence out of any 5 of these f&%$tards! They are going to be taught what it is like to be on the butt end of a tasteless joke. It is small, and we just started it, however, THIS WEEKS RECAP is a fun project several friends of mine and I have started. At the moment it is by invitation only to access it, I will make sure you get an invite. I also will BCC you on the letter I am writing to these people.

Being gay, I have had crap like this thrown in my face all my life. THIS WEEKS RECAP is my response to every small minded (and usually uneducated) buffoon who has belittled me or any of my brothers and sisters in the human race. It also gives me a platform that is a little more than my meager vote to call politicians on their bullshit.

Okay, I feel better, on with my assignment!

Write three or more of your own desired outcomes for this course and/or this semester. Next (or under) each, explain why you value achieving that outcome.

Of course I want good, well no, excellent grades, however, more important, I want to truly and deeply absorb every bit of information in each class.

I value the above outcome because what I am doing is building a house of knowledge in my head. I want this house to be built on a super strong foundation, the foundation of this house is this, my first semester in college. If I pass a class but really don't understand 50% of it, I'm going to struggle twice as much in the class that proceeds it. If that happens, the educational "house" I am trying to build will crumble like a house of cards.

I most likely, at some point in my life, have been taught every thing the text for this class teaches. In no way does that mean I remember it or practice it. I want to be open to all of this information because what I do know and remember is that it will truly transform my life.

Remember the book (paraphrasing) "Everything I Needed to Know for Life I learned in the Third Grade". I read it, and it was funny, heartwarming and so true. I did learn everything I need to know for life in the third grade, but I don't really remember the third grade. I need to be retaught this information on how to live a successful and happy life.

I hope to make new friends, new connections, enjoy the experience of all that "college life" has to offer.

While I see it through different eyes than most of my classmates, college life is a completely new experience for me. I am excited about it and want to absorb everything it has to offer academically and socially.


Write three or more of your desired experiences for this course and/or this semester. Next (or under) each, explain why you value having that experience.

Build self esteem, regain control of my physical body, expand my mind.

I want to be confident, lean (well, in shape) and well educated. I have always gone after what I wanted and usually gotten it, in this stage of my life this is how I see myself creating the vessel I need to continue to lead a joyful life.

I want to enjoy myself and have a positive effect on the people around me, likewise, I hope the people around me are happy and experiencing joy and make a lasting impression on me.

I feel I am mentally healthiest when I am well connected with other positive and mentally healthy people. They can give me energy and I hope that I can return good energy to them.

I hope to build a positive force, a synergy, in this my first semester of college at the age of 44, that will keep growing with each semester.

I value this desired experience a lot. For me to keep at this, and I am sure I will, I need a positive synergy to build like to tidal wave, getting bigger and stronger with each semester. This, along with staying focused each day, I am sure will bring higher than expected results.

Write about your level of motivation using the formula V x E = M

I was trained as a professional athlete. I'm in our I am out. When using the above formula I am confident I am a 100, using the tools written about above, the entire text of On Course - and the athletic training I have had since I was 8 until leaving to tour Ice Capades, I am pretty confident about what is going on here and how to keep it up.

"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it"